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22 October 2019

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Understanding What Goes Into Our Behaviors

This may be a bit hyperbolic. I’m sure even if we knew someone’s bkrnd & what challenges they’d dealt w in the past, there are certain actions they engage in now, that’d still make it difficult for us to LOVE them.

 

That said, maybe we’d be able to better UNDERSTAND them/their actions?

 

This thought came to me as I was reading that article on the NYPD in the NY Post abt the greater sensitivities cops are being asked to use, when describing cases where someone is being a public disturbance. Unfortunately, the Post tracked down quotes from some cops who had some “not so very nice” things to say abt ppl in the past who they’d referred to as “emotional disturbed.” I don’t think most cops feel that way. But I do see how watching someone do something repeatedly, can wear on/frustrate them.

 

I got to thinking…isn’t it literally an education piece we’re missing? If we taught the concept that: 1) Life Events/Complications, lead to 2) Unmet Needs, which lead to 3) Uncomfortable Feelings, Physical Sensations, & Thoughts, which ultimately lead to 4) Behaviors…wouldn’t we have greater compassion no matter how erratic or difficult the behaviors?

 

Parents w Kids, Teachers w Students, First Responders w Citizens, etc., etc., if we were all taught to consider that the behavior wasn’t based on how someone WANTS to act out, but based on underlying factors that so often stem from life events they had little/no control over…wouldn’t we all treat each other more kindly & look to get to the source & help before jumping to conclusions?

 

May be idealistic. But I do think that as my friend David describes: someone cuts us off while driving, & immediately we think: “I cant believe that A-hole chose to cut ME off & totally disrespect ME.” We all can be guilty at times of jumping to conclusions abt behaviors of others.

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