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21 February 2018

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2/21/18 Hero: Jennifer Hope

Today’s #SameHere Hero: Jennifer Hope (You listen to the traumas she faced back to back to back at such a young point in her life, and it just seems like it’s way too much for one person to handle.  That said, you can see not just the hurt, but also the determination and perseverance in her eyes, in this picture.  I’m so happy that this story has a happy turn-around, and she is now using it to help others. Sometimes, the validation of knowing “what you’re feeling is real and tangible,” after you’ve gone through so much and feel lost, goes a long way. Thank you for sharing, Jennifer.  Much respect to you!)

 

“My father has been a drug user since I can remember, and he still is, now living homeless on the streets.

 

I was physically abused from 8 years old until the age of 14 by my mother’s boyfriend.

 

At 15 I was sexually assaulted.

 

At 16 years old my best friend was killed in a drunk driving accident.

 

At 17 I became pregnant with my first child and the father was not around.

 

At 21 I lost two pregnancies.

 

I have suffered from depression since childhood – which a doctor diagnosed me with after my first attempt on my life at 14.   In fact, my whole life I felt out of control, angry, lost, fearful, unloved, and hopeless.  When I had my last urge to end my life I knew I needed to reach out for my kids’ sake (at the time, and still now, a mother of 3), but for me personally, it ended up being the best thing I could have done for myself.  At my hospital stay, I was finally diagnosed Borderline Personality disorder/PTSD/Anxiety, and Major Depressive Disorder.  While I was diagnosed with a lot, I finally felt like I was being heard and there was an explanation for what I was feeling.

 

I love to write my emotions out, whether it be via poem or a blog post, or even in my personal journal.  It helps me not bottle those feelings, and to give them the release they need. I know it takes more than just that release, but those are still great tools to make sure you’re not just keeping it all in.  I’m also a big music lover, the right song can just let all those feelings flow out of me. For the first time in my life now, on the correct medication, at the dosages I believe to be correct, I’m in therapy, and I have a team of Drs. behind me as a support system.

 

I have had nothing but understanding and acceptance for the most part, since I’ve opened up to others about my story. There are still, of course, some who don’t get it and that’s ok. They ask questions and I try my best to answer them.  Sharing my story in the past has prompted others to reach out and tell me that I’ve kept them going, because, for the first time they knew someone else felt what they’ve been feeling.  So, I’m hopeful my #SameHere story does the same for those of you (or with loved ones) going through anything similar.”

 

 

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