How Do You Forgive

I need your help IG Crazy Fam!

 

If you’re human, you’ve likely dealt with someone – a boss, a friend, a family member, a colleague, a neighbor, who has done you wrong – who you feel like treated you a certain way intentionally, & shows no remorse, & likely never will.

 

I’m fortunate it hasn’t happened often, but it has happened at least 2X in my life.

 

When I was talking w Johane Ligonde on the way to the Yanks game last night, she asked me if I’m getting any of my emotions back. When I told her not as quickly as I’d like, she asked if there was anyone I needed to forgive, who was taking up too much space in my heart/emotional centers, that wasn’t serving me.

 

I’ve heard every exercise & cliche in the book about this topic (& she certainly used all of them w me): 1) you can forgive without forgetting, 2) you are giving THEM too much control over your life by allowing them to take up that space, 3) they’re not thinking about it as much as you are so don’t give them the courtesy of that much attention, 4) wish them well & “send them on their way” & let what will be with them, be.

 

I get ALL of that…& I understand practices. I also understand that ppl who are a-holes to you may not even have control over it (eg., challenging upbringing where they don’t know any better w their decisions, narcissistic attributes, etc.). Yes there is actually a part of me that feels bad for these people. But even in feeling bad…

 

I can’t bring myself to just “let it go” when someone has actively chosen to do me wrong, has known they’ve done it, & moves forward like it never happened. It’s infuriating & even though I know it doesn’t serve me, & likely slows down my own capacity to heal, I find it hard to fully forgive, & to not have a heated negative feeling towards them when I think of them.

 

If anything, I’m transparent :). So I ask you IG Crazy Fam…any practices you’ve done to forgive in similar situations? Anything I can try that’s worked for you? Anything that might help others? Thank you🙏🏻!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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