by: Eric M. Kussin

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28 December 2018

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Complicated Family Dynamics

Sounds like a pretty limiting statement, but when you hear the line in its entirety, hopefully it’ll ring true w you the way it did w me.

 

I was w one of the producers on this documentary we are working on, & he chimed in on the big pic story we are telling – how “everyone has something going on”…& he shared this line his therapist left him w the last time he exited his office:

 

“There are only 2 types of people in this world: 1) the people who have complicated family dynamics, & 2) the people who THINK their family dynamics aren’t complicated.”

 

Hilarious – essentially, when it comes to our extended, & often our immediate families, things can just get messy over time. Maybe not everyone has an eccentric “Cousin Eddie” like the Griswolds, but here’s the thing abt fam: we are often so on top of each other that the old adage, “familiarity breeds contempt” is sadly a common outcome.

 

Why do good friends who become roommates often fall out of favor w one another?  Why do they say – not to mix biz w pleasure when it comes to your friends?

 

At a distance, there are many ppl in our circle we love, respect, & enjoy the company of.  Spend every waking moment w them, & there are bound to be disagreements, differences in philosophy, & even conflict.

 

So, 1st off, if you have a complicated fam dynamic – w even one member of your fam, it appears you’re FAR from alone. In fact, you may just be like everyone else.

 

2nd, at the end of the day, being that on top of one another – growing up as siblings or cousins, living under the same roof, even just seeing each other at fam events/holidays, you’re bound to find yourselves rubbing each other the wrong way more than you’d like.

 

In those cases, if it helps, here’s what I try to live by: as long as the other person(s) loves you, is open to compromise, & you know would be there for you in an emergency, try to look past the little idiosyncrasies that irk you. And if those don’t hold true, that’s ok too – be cordial at fam events. We don’t choose our blood fam members but we can choose how to act towards one another to keep the peace!

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